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Let's Talk About 'it'

Written by Arya Tondale

( Sex-Education Exclusive )

‘Sex, baby, Let's talk about you and me, Let's talk about all the good things and the bad things that may be, Let's talk about sex…’

SEX, a three-letter word that is around us most of the time. Recently I had an experience where a person was verbally sexually harassed. The worst part was that most people were okay with it as if it is a typical day to day thing. While the bully thought it was something that could be finished with an apology. The girl cried, and I could understand her fury. 

We, teenagers, know about sex.  But where do you think we learnt about it, while you skipped the pages during biology and said we were "too young and innocent” to know about it.

We learn through books, social media, and through people. Most of us have watched porn at least once! We think we know about it, but we just learn the idea surrounding it. It's all exaggerated and glamorised to be shown as entertainment. If it is already surrounding us: WHY IS SEX AND EVEN TALKING ABOUT IT A TABOO? 

Teens my age are doing wrong things or saying imprecise words without knowing the weight it holds. How are we going to learn the right things and not end up making a mistake? We know how sex works, but we don't know about condoms, birth control pills, and other stuff. We support LGBTQIA+ rights, but how many of us are actually aware of how queer sex works?

It should start right from middle school. Now you might be thinking: Isn’t that like too young or something? This writer needs to have her facts straight. (cue the rolling eyes) Well, guess what, reader? Middle schoolers WANT TO know about SEX. Adults should understand that the "phases" we go through is where we are exploring our identity. Do we lean towards dicks/vaginas/both/none? Kinda difficult to choose if you ask me. Especially when a country like India needs to have Sex ED in their curriculum.

Why India?

Like many countries, India has RAPE CULTURE! This is because not many people have actual knowledge about sex and everything which revolves around it. Most of the time, rapists and molesters are men & women who rape girls and boys. How can we know the difference between sexual abuse, regular sex, good touch, and bad touch? 

There are few factors:

  • ILLITERACY

Like half of India is rural and doesn't have proper education facilities because there is lack of proper education.

SEX = BABIES

Now, this is an important topic. Ladies, get ready to relate. Some of us don't want kids. We prefer pleasure too, you know. Most of the time, society thinks that having sex is only for reproducing babies. You know what, maybe to some extent, is true, but we deserve to feel pleasure during sexual intercourse. It isn't just restricted to males!! 

  • NARROW-MINDED MENTALITY

MISOGYNY. It means prejudice against women/girls. If girls ever discuss sex, then that means that she is slutty or a wasted human. Like how many girls can freely talk about our private parts without feeling weirded out. I mean, our breasts and vaginas are part of us. I hear many dudes talking about their "dicks" as a customary talk, but it is not the same for the opposite sex. This narrow mindedness leads to horrible things like slut-shaming, depression, rape culture or even verbal harassment, which happens daily. TAKE OFF YOUR STUPID ROSE-TINTED GLASSES, PEOPLE! Look at the world for what it is.


  • HYGIENE AND HEALTH ISSUES

Sex education also includes talking about menstruation. Yes, Indians are warming up to it more, but we aren't still there yet. We as teens want to talk and learn more about it, and for those who are still shy, you guys really need to start speaking up. Also, how to keep your private parts hygienic? All the Dos and Don'ts are part of sex Ed.  

  • DISEASES LIKE HIV/STDs/AIDS

May you be part of the straight community or queer community, sexually transmitted diseases will exist. It's a common notion that if sex is being discussed, we mainly consider it between a man and a woman. So, we tend to forget that diseases can be transmitted even when it's between homosexual individuals or gender-fluid ones.

  • FEAR

For this, I will be super blunt. I recently found out that there are types of hymens and a particular type that is thick. During sex, it hurts so much that you need to get it operated on in order to have sex. Now a person like me who is open-minded, the idea of painful penetration freaked the hell out of me. My first thought was: What if I have it and I go through that pain?! People like you and me who can read and understand English have access to know about this stuff. But those who don't need to be appropriately taught with facts and reasoning.

CONSENT: Sex Ed teaches us the importance of consent. Did you know that many rape cases happen even in relationships with significant others? Regardless of how intimate the relationship is.

That can be avoided if we learn the meaning and importance of CONSENT.

Sex Ed empowers teens to have healthy choices and have safe sex in the future. It is a common misconception that Sex Ed makes students want to have sex, but that's not the case. In fact, it broadens their horizons. This form of education is not just about sex; it's also about:

  • Personal Choice

  • Our vulnerabilities

  • Diversity

  • Normalising Queerness

  • Emotional and Mental Maturity

  • Body Positivity



Now here is something we all should be aware of!!

As cliché as it sounds, change first begins within us. So don’t go around expecting people to be better if you don’t start with yourself first. Do you think Sex Ed in our curriculum is necessary? What is your opinion?

 (* initial lyrics from Let’s talk about sex by Salt-N-Pepa)