IS THERE A GOOGLE MAP FOR SEXUALITY ?
Written by Arya Tondale
A PRIDE MONTH EXCLUSIVE
Figuring out our sexuality is like a warped-up Google Maps. Sometimes it takes us in the wrong direction, sometimes a dead end, sometimes a long cut, sometimes the shortcut or if your WIFI sucks, then it's still loading. This mostly happens when we are teenagers and still figuring out a lot of different things. But this can still go on in any phase of our life and IT IS OK.
DISCLAIMER This isn’t some statistical, informational blog. This is more of an intimate-as-your-friend blog.
The fact that you are questioning and thinking about yourself is a big step. When we talk about this unique community, we occasionally tend to forget those people who are still stuck in the middle. I am here to tell you that if you have romantic feelings for the opposite sex but sexual feelings for same sex then its ok. Don’t be scared if you dream about something like that. In fact, thank your brain for being that honest!
When in confusion, explore your possibilities. There are so many ways to explore: online support groups, your friends (if they support you), go out on dates, watch movies, research about it and the most important thing - but don’t lie to yourself. Be DARING; think of this as an adventure and sail through it. I promise you that the journey aint easy but the results won’t disappoint you.
You know, when we are trying to figure out whether we are gay, bi, pan, trans or asexual, the process of “Coming out” takes place. So, I have noticed that when we come out or just tell people that we are questioning our sexuality, the reply is most likely this: “Are you sure? You are just confused.” Or something like this: “Ahh, so you're following the trend huh.” Or even this: “That’s what you say all the time.” Was that too real for you? If you have experienced this then just tell them to think about what they said and give them space. Also, if you are the one who said it to someone close to you, rethink your words again and remember that you, not showing support, pricks them like needles.
You need to understand that we are already having a stressful time figuring it all out and we need all the support we can get. Let me give you an example of this whole scenario: Take Kat Edison from the Netflix TV series, The Bold Type. Her character is shown as a 20 something millennial who has one-night stands with men until she meets a female photographer and reconsiders her sexuality. She goes from being straight to lesbian to Bisexual in the end. Throughout the series, she experiences different emotions but she gets out there and explores until she knows what she wants.
Also, it is FINE if you think you are gay but you turn out to be straight. We all make mistakes, assumptions, and wrong decisions. Remember this: Don’t be ashamed of yourself, and all the things you do to help your inner self. Love that piece of you and you will realize that you can enjoy this process.
I mean, we already have so many issues like homophobia, corrective rape, stereotypes, peer pressure, and other generic stuff like future goals and that burnt popcorn in the microwave. Do all of us a favor and try to be in our shoes. To answer the title of this article, NO there isn’t a google map for sexuality. All we have to do is go old school and explore our surroundings. You might end up finding a whole new country.